Sibling Relations |
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A child's relations with brothers and sisters are often his or her first taste of belonging to a peer group, with all that this involves in the way of both companionship and competition. Depending on a variety of factors, in particular age differences and position in the sibling hierarchy, children usually experience some form of rivalry and conflict with brothers and sisters, often depending on whether they are the eldest/youngest/in the middle, and so on.
It is important for parents to remain alert to stressful problems that may arise in this area, and deal with them effectively early on, though sibling-related stress can continue to manifest later in life too: for example, when a brother or sister leaves home, gets engaged or married.
One of the earliest manifestations of stress between siblings often occurs with the arrival of a new baby in the family. The birth of a new brother or sister can result in quite painful feelings of displacement in an older child, which can in turn cause considerable stress, often expressing itself in the form of acute jealousy and resentment. Recognition of this by parents can go a long way towards solving it, and there are many practical ways in which they can prepare a child for the arrival of a new baby, and minimize the stress of the situation as a result.
For example, it is a good idea to explain the new arrival well in advance, involving the older child by making it clear that his or her help will be invaluable when the time comes, and greatly appreciated. And when the new baby is actually brought home for the first time, it is extremely important to reassure the older child, letting him know that he continues to be loved as much as ever, even if he is no longer the centre of attention. This is a vital stage in the learning-to-share process, which is crucial to all children's development.
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