Stress Of Living With A Battered Parent |
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One of every two women in the United States will be the victim of a violent encounter with her husband at some time in her life. List of battering includes beating, hitting, shoving, pinching, verbal abuse, and mental abuse.
The long-term effects of battering can be so pervasive that it's sometimes hard to pinpoint exactly how the abuse affects you as a teenager and your battered mother. It permeates everything: your sense of self, your intimate relationships, your sexuality, your parenting, your work, even your sanity. Everywhere you look, you see its effects.
Many battered mothers have been too busy surviving to notice the ways you were hurt by this abuse. But you cannot heal until you acknowledge the areas that need healing.
How your battered parent handles the abuse has a lot to do with the impact on you. If you are met with compassion, healing begins immediately; but if no one notices your pain, or if you are blamed or not believed, the damage is compounded.
Not all survivors are affected in the same ways. You may do well in one area in your life, but not in another. You may succeed in school, but not in your relationships. Some teenagers have a nagging sense that something is wrong. For others, the damage is so extensive that they feel they’ve wasted their whole lives.
Relationships are distorted in battered families. The essential trust, sharing, and safety are missing, and in their place are secrecy, isolation, and fear. If you were abused by a family member or saw your mother being abused, you may have been made the family scapegoat. You may have been told repeatedly that you are bad and crazy. You may feel isolated, cut off from contact with others. Where are you now?
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