Peer Loyalties |
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Bonding together with friends who are also struggling with growing pains gives you a sense of belonging. Usually unwritten rules govern membership in a peer group. Some peer groups require excellent grades; others require participation in a certain sport or club. Still other peer groups require you to take drugs or drink or smoke. It is up to you to decide which group, if any, is the one to hang around with.
The fear of being outcasts pressures members of high school cliques to adopt similar mannerisms of speech and dress. This conformity with a peer group satisfies your need for bonding while you are giving up your bonds with your parents. Sometimes this need to bond is so intense that young people bond with one special friend or a fantasy idol, one record, certain items of clothing. Peer loyalty is an authentic period of growth.
It’s okay if you do not become involved with one peer group. It’s okay if you are happy pursuing interests on your own. Many creative teenagers gain the needed approval by using their special talents. If you have a gift for creative writing, by all means use that gift. Perhaps you have a talent for gourmet cooking, or gardening, sewing, painting. Be proud of your talent and use it well. Not all people are blessed with talent, and someday it may become your livelihood.
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