Alcoholism

Alcoholism is known as the "family disease", because each member of the alcoholic’s family is affected as well. Children of alcoholics grow up in dysfunctional families, full of fear, anger, and denial, and they suffer emotional or physical abuse as well. When these children grow up and have families of their own, they bring their past into their relationships with their spouse, friends, and employers.

What is an alcoholic? Seven million kids under the age of twenty live with an alcoholic parent. Alcoholics tend to display some or all or these characteristics: He or she lies about how much he has had to drink, always has a good reason to drink; argues when drunk, can’t stop drinking until he is drunk; blames others for the drinking; and denies things done while drinking.

Characteristics commonly found in alcoholic families are the following:

• It is not okay to talk about problems.

• Feelings should not be expressed openly.

• Communication is often indirect.

• Expectations are unrealistic.

• Don't be selfish; that gets turned around to mean take care of others and not yourself.

• Do as I say, not as I do.

• It's not okay to play. Life is serious, difficult and painful, not a joyful world in which kids can be spontaneous.

For the families of alcoholics, particularly the children, alcoholism can twist parenting into a form of child abuse. Even if you grow up with no physical abuse, just having a drinker around the house warps family relationships. You and your problem drinker need to get help.

More About Illness