Single Parent Stress |
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Bringing up a child or children on your own is a challenge currently being met by an increasing number of parents; it has been estimated that as many as one in five families now fall into this category. Whether you are a single parent from choice, or as the result of circumstances outside your control, the challenge, like any other, can involve a quite considerable degree of stress. Single-parenting can be isolating - no longer, fortunately, as the result of social prejudices, but simply because the single parent is thrown on his/her own resources to such an extent.
He or she must make all the decisions and take all the responsibilities, with fewer chances to talk through problems or concerns with a partner. There is always the danger, too, of becoming over-dependent on your children, which can lead to problems later on, and there are usually special problems for single-parents in combining a job with looking after the children: as every single parent knows, day care facilities such as company crèches, all-day nursery schools and play groups, registered child-minders, are in all too short supply.
A single parent can keep stress in perspective by remembering that all these points can be applied to dual parenting as well. As seen already, bringing up children in general can be an isolating experience in some circumstances. Two parents may disagree over quite fundamental things in relation to bringing up their children -such as which schools to send them to - one problem which the single parent will never have to face. And many mothers bringing up children within a partnership can also become over-dependent on their children - sometimes unconsciously, so that they may only realize it when the children grow up and leave home.
To keep the sense of balance that prevents challenge or change from becoming stressful, try to preserve a certain degree of independence in relation to your children, and encourage the same in them. For example, take a holiday away from each other from time to time, when they are old enough, and share as many activities as possible with other family and friends. Single parents are very well served by some excellent support groups like Gingerbread, whose services can do a lot to alleviate stress.
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