Stress And Sex |
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Good sex in a secure and happy relationship, like any form of in-depth, intense personal communication between people who care for each other, can act as one of the most concentrated, powerful and effective ways of relieving stress and achieving total relaxation. As well as bringing physical pleasure and satisfaction, loving, well-balanced sex enhances a relationship emotionally, creating a deep sense of closeness and togetherness, the perfect antidote to negatively stressful feelings.
Yet sex may also be a source of stresses and strains in its own right. For example, it can cause problems if instead of complementing other expressions of togetherness in a relationship, such as companionship, friendship, shared interests, it assumes excessive, even exclusive importance. Or if there is not total mutual trust, sexual jealousy of a particularly painful nature can develop - one of the surest ways of causing relations to deteriorate. Or a couple may experience sexual difficulties based on mutual incompatibilities or different expectations, for example of frequency or type of intercourse, or the degree of importance respectively attached to sex. Such problems easily assume overwhelming proportions, and are a common source of marital stress generally.
Like other problems within marriage or any close and permanent relationship, talking about them may do much to release the stress element and open up a path towards finding a solution. It may be enough for a couple to talk to each other and devise their own ways of overcoming their specific problems - there is a vast literature on the subject to help. Marriage guidance organizations offer valuable assistance - some provide special sex therapy counseling for couples - and sexual dysfunction or psychosexual clinics are attached to some hospitals, health centers and family planning clinics. This is also an area in which GPs are increasingly able and willing to offer counseling.
Equally, sexual relations can be adversely affected by quite separate, distinct types of stress. Obviously, this is especially likely to be the case if, for whatever reason, a relationship is undergoing difficulties elsewhere, but other stress problems affecting one or both partners - especially fatigue caused by overwork, or worries in other areas of life - can easily cause sex to deteriorate, bringing a general loss of libido, and perhaps impotence and premature ejaculation in a man, and frigidity in a woman. Body changes, too, affect sexual desire and performance as we get older. It is important to be aware of all these possibilities and their potential effect on your sex life: as with all forms of stress, awareness and understanding are the best foundation from which to cope, rather than letting events take you by surprise.
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