Change Type A To Type B Behavior

Simply deciding to go from Type A (or A-) to perhaps Type B+ is only the first step, but it is an important decision you won’t regret. Making the change requires focusing on two behavior patterns from which most of the others follow: first, time urgency, and second, aggressive competitiveness. In Type As these patterns are so strong as to be compulsive.

Time urgency manifests as different characteristics: finishing other people’s sentences when you’re having a conversation; feeling fidgety when waiting, even when there is nothing you or anyone else can do to speed up the process; arriving early to meetings, for flights, and so forth; speedy driving, wanting to "make time"; and an inability to enjoy unstructured, noncompetitive relaxation. Decreasing time urgency means managing your time more effectively and working more efficiently. Set priorities by the week or even by the month, and use those to determine your daily priorities. Use a calendar rather than a stopwatch.

It is important for Type As to have a daily "to do" list derived from the week’s priorities. Set time aside each day for the unexpected. If the unexpected doesn’t occur, use that time for meditation or other stress-relieving techniques described in upcoming chapters. Don’t use the time to get ahead on other projects unless they’re really important for concrete reasons, not just those in your own mind. Screen the outside world. Put the answering machine to work. If you’ve got a task scheduled and do not want to be disturbed, hang a sign that politely and diplomatically says, "Go away " Stick to your guns and people will eventually get the message. After all, you’ll have to train people to treat you as a Type B; they’ve known you only as a Type A.

Type A behavior is almost always triggered in uncontrollable situations. When such situations occur, look carefully at your priorities, assess your options in writing if possible, and compare them against your goals. You can't control the uncontrollable, but you can control the way you respond. It will be tough at first, but it will slowly become your habit.

Consider three points:

1. Can anything fail because it was done too well or too slowly?

2. Should you decide when your workday will be finished before it starts?

3. Should you keep working on your project at "quitting time"?

Each question can be answered no.

The second Type A behavior you’ll need to change is aggressive competitiveness. Type A people become hostile very quickly and instantly move into a competitive mode. When those feelings start surfacing, use them as your signal to relax. Ask yourself some pertinent questions: "Am I trying to get this person to do something against his basic needs or personality?" "Am I forcing an imaginary deadline?" "Am I becoming angry or anxious because this is not moving fast enough according to my internal deadline?"

Recognize that many people either consciously or subconsciously try to precipitate an argument. So, you must instantly decide if entering the argument has any relevance to your objectives and priorities. In short, will it bring you anything you want or need? If the answer is yes, then you need to figure out how to do it without anger. If the answer is no, shut up!

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