Damage-Limiting Operations |
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Think of being cut off on the road while driving. The best thing to do is pull off the road, collect your thoughts, give the bad driver a chance to get far away, and resolve to drive more defensively. Most anger-producing effects, however, are not so final as being cut off Suppose you’ve been sold a defective product or been cheated. Your objective is to stop the loss, recover what you can, move on, and avoid similar losses in the future. The techniques you use are called damage-limiting operations, because you've already lost something and you want to prevent future losses, or limit the damage that's been done.
Anger is positive in such cases. Thank your body for alerting you to the seriousness of the problem, and get back in control of the situation by focusing on the future and limiting the damage.
For example, suppose you were accused (even jokingly) out loud at a party of hitting your spouse. Some people will always be ready to believe the worst. For the sake of your relationships and reputation, you've got to find a way to convince as many people as possible that you don't hit your loved ones.
Several approaches immediately spring to mind, such as slugging your accuser and shouting, "It’s a lie!" but these actions won’t convince many people; in fact, observers will only be more likely to believe the accusation.
Instead, you might try putting one of these questions to your accuser:
Notice that your reply is built around your own confidence that the truth is with you. You are not defensive, nor are you directly accusing your adversary of lying. Ade by implying it is a joke. you are offering him a way out of the dilemma he has created for himself.
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