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When you are entering a stressful
situation that is almost sure to cause anger, your objective is to
prevent that anger.
Do say to yourself . . .
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What do I have to
do?
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How many ways are
there to deal with this?
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There may not be a
need to argue.
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I'll take three
deep breaths, collect my thoughts, and relax.
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A sense of humor
will be very helpful.
Don’t say to yourself. . .
If you’re in a situation where
your anger is building and you can’t leave, you've got to see it
through-but try to control your anger.
Do say to yourself. . .
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I’m starting to get
tense; time to slow down.
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Anger's a good
signal; now its time to control and help myself.
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Let’s take this one
point at a time.
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Could we both be
right?
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Could a cooperative
effort work?
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Let's focus on what
is right here.
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Let's work together
constructively.
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I’m not going to
get angry.
Don’t say to yourself. . .
If the situation has become very
tense, make use of some damage-limiting techniques.
Do say to yourself. . .
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I’ll keep my cool
and will be in control.
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What do I want to
get out of this?
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I do not need to
prove myself.
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I’ll try and
contain this.
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What he says may
not matter at all.
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There have to be
some good parts to this. What are they?
Don’t say to yourself . . .
After the situation is resolved,
no matter how it turned out, go to a quiet place and assess what
you’ve been through.
Do say to yourself . . .
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These difficult
situations take time to work out.
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I resolve to try
and not take it personally.
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That could have
been worse; or, it wasn't as tough as I thought.
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I’m making
progress!
Don’t say to yourself . . .
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